When talking to relatives, I have noticed that many don't mention "alcohol" or "drugs" by name when talking to their close one. This may create ambiguity, misunderstanding and it may also lead to denial from both sides.
Unclear vs. clear communication
An example might be that the relative says: "You seem tired today, I don't want to have dinner with you when you are so tired and sluggish." Instead of clearly saying: "I feel uncomfortable having dinner with you when you have been drinking. I really like having dinner with you when you're sober."
When using the first example, the signal going out to the person with an addiction might be that he/she needs to be "awake" and alert in order to have dinner with the other person. The sentence doesn't directly have anything to do with drugs or alcohol, and the person may keep being in denial.
When using the second example, you clearly state your opinion; what you really think is the problem, and how you would like the situation to look like instead. There's no place for misunderstanding or false accusations, and even if the person doesn't do what you would like him/her to do, you've clearly stated your point!
All the best to you!
/Carina
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