PAUSE...

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Dear readers!

I'm sorry to inform you that due to time limitations, I will now pause this blog for some time.

But until we meet again; I highly recommend you to read my manual: Self-Help Manual For Relatives of Substance Abusers. 

The prize is only $4.99 and you can download it through the free Kindle app at Amazon HERE.

 

Comments from people who've read the manual:

- Working on the questions in the material has strengthened me and gave me the courage to bring up sensitive topics.

- The exercises in this manual have made me understand some things about my own behavior, and about my relative who is a substance addict. It has made me think differently.

- The self-help manual helped me to let go of some of my control and as a result my relationship to my husband is much better.

- The manual is comforting and something that I can go back to and read whenever I want.

- The self-help manual feels like a trusted friend that I can come back to if I need to.

- I got a new picture of what I can change and what is my responsibility, and what isn’t. It has also changed the way I communicate with my relative with alcohol problems.

- Now I feel stronger and I’m able to speak up more without getting a bad conscience afterwards.

You can also look through the previous post here, or all the 197 posts that I've written during the years at: codependencyinfo.blogspot.se. I guarantee that you will find much interesting stuff!

TAKE CARE & ALL THE BEST! 

 /Carina 

INSPIRING QUOTE FROM THE SELF-HELP MANUAL

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE SELF-HELP MANUAL FOR RELATIVES OF SUBSTANCE ABUSERS HERE.
Price: $4.99

Something to Think About?

There are many different opinions when it comes to medical treatment of drug addiction. One of the most common questions in the debate is: should you replace one drug with another drug, with the goal of getting rid of addiction? There's no easy answer. The discussion about the use of buprenorphine in treatment has been in focus for a long time. Buprenorphine is a highly addictive substance which is used for the treatment of opioid addiction.

I found the following article about medical treatment, mainly that of buprenorphine, written by Jake Nichols, interesting. Nichols is a pharmacists who has suffered from opioid addiction. He's now drug free, due to both therapy and 12-step programs, but also buprenorphine. Despite his relatively positive view of medical treatment and its benefits, he also talks about the need for more research and a discussion about what kind of restrictions there should be and how the different treatment methods should look like.

Click on this link to read Jake Nichols article about medical treatment and buprenorphine

Stop looking for errors - Focus on yourself

A wise person once told me: "drugs are the devil on earth."

I'm inclined to agree. Drugs lead to terrible consequences and create a lot of suffering for both the person with addiction and those who are close to the person.

 It's common that relatives blame themselves for the person's addiction, which may easily lead to self-accusations and self-hate. What many people do is trying to find the “error” or the “fault”, either in the whole situation, in the other person, or in oneself.

Try to avoid this type of “troubleshooting”. The disease of addiction is a complex disorder that often depends on many factors and situations. All factors combined lead to the person making destructive choices (choices that probably felt positive for the person in the beginning), which then lead to an addiction.

So it's not worth finding "faults" and “errors”. Instead, try and find a solid ground to stand on. Find situations, places, feelings and thoughts that make you feel safe. Try avoiding taking big, decisive decisions whenever possible. If you instead would turn his thoughts to show your compassion and important decisions if possible. 

What are you in need of right now? A reliable friend? A warm bed? A little food in your stomach? A cup of tea? Write something in a journal? A nap? To cry for a while? 

Give yourself that. Right now.

Clear and direct communication!

Today I've been thinking about communication. How do you talk and discuss addiction with a person with a substance abuse problem?


When talking to relatives, I have noticed that many don't mention "alcohol" or "drugs" by name when talking to their close one. This may create ambiguity, misunderstanding and it may also lead to denial from both sides. 

Unclear vs. clear communication

An example might be that the relative says: "You seem tired today, I don't want to have dinner with you when you are so tired and sluggish." Instead of clearly saying: "I feel uncomfortable having dinner with you when you have been drinking. I really like having dinner with you when you're sober." 

When using the first example, the signal going out to the person with an addiction might be that he/she needs to be "awake" and alert in order to have dinner with the other person. The sentence doesn't directly have anything to do with drugs or alcohol, and the person may keep being in denial.

When using the second example, you clearly state your opinion; what you really think is the problem, and how you would like the situation to look like instead. There's no place for misunderstanding or false accusations, and even if the person doesn't do what you would like him/her to do, you've clearly stated your point! 

To dare expressing own opinions, thoughts and feelings can help both yourself and other people! This can be applied to all areas in life.


All the best to you!
/Carina

If Your Teen or Young Adult Has a Problem with Drugs

This is a re-post from something that I wrote some time ago. I wanted to publish it again since the topic is very important and highly relevant when it comes to how our society looks like today: illegal drugs are very easy to access, mainly because of the internet. I hope this post can be helpful to you as a parent to a teenager or young adult. 

Love = Live together?

There's one thing that I keep thinking about: do you really have to live together with a person just because you love him/her?

I often hear people justify their stay in destructive relationships with the phrase: "But I love him!", and therefore, letting their limits be moved, letting themselves being exposed to the situations which only hurt them. Allowing themselves to live in a relationship where they don't feel good. 

Because they love someone...